Updated: Jun 6, 2021
In our second detox article, intuitive healer Katarina Winslow
invites us to listen to the voice in our heads
Published in togethermag.eu July/August 2019
We all have that little voice in our head of ‘should’. I should eat less, I should exercise more, I should quit smoking, I should become a vegetarian… I should do a DETOX. And it continues: I should know better, I should be more positive, I should be more free, I should be more intelligent, I should, I should and I should… I should do an emotional detox.
The voice of knowing what we should do is, indeed, the voice of a better version of ourselves. We constantly listen to it but in most cases do not follow it. Often, it is a voice that is simply present in our consciousness, just changing subject and form. Sometimes, of course, we do listen, and we do obey it but then only for a while, a few months, a few weeks, a day, or just a fleeting moment. More often than not, once we act and actually embrace the ‘should’, we end up in our old behavioural patterns with the ‘should’ still there, or we replace it with something else that we should. We end up in the place where we feel safe, even if it is not perfect, or less than life could be. More than anything, we end up with the comfort of having a ‘should’ as a companion. A companion that keeps repeating that you are less than you could be and that there is a slimmer, better and more beautiful version of you — somewhere. We feel secure in the way things have always been; in a way, we are attached to our ‘shoulds’. If we actually acted on our ‘shoulds’, they would disappear. Then there would be acceptance, uncertainty and freedom. With our companion present, we are at least certain that there is something to fix. How sad to lose such a precious friend, the one that is constantly telling us that we are not good enough! That we are not perfect just the way we are.
We would benefit tremendously from acting on our ‘shoulds’, so that we could become free from this negative friend of ours. Or our second best option: get the voice out of our minds once and for all and be free to just be, without any guilt.
When you realize that a ‘should’ not acted on is like a demoralising friend, you could either take action to follow the advice or accept yourself with your imperfections. To stop demoralising yourself, either change and be happier, or do not change and let go of the guilt, and be happy anyway. ‘Should’ is like an extra icing on our imperfections. Not like the one on the cake, but like a thick layer of cloudy black smoke, preventing you from accepting yourself just the way you are. To be allowed to exist, to fully live and be happy.
Perfect imperfections included.
To detox has become a fashionable thing to do, and it is in fact extremely beneficial for your whole being, both physically and emotionally. During any detox, you get closer to who you would be if you were perfect. Detox is a kick-starter to finally listen to the voice that knows. During detox, your body is cleansed of sugar and toxins. You get even further benefits from getting in touch with your true feelings, embracing any unpleasant feelings and the non-expressed frustrations that tend to emerge during the detox. During detox, all that was hidden inside tends to become visible so that you can get closer to your true self. The emotional detox, included in any physical detox, removes old emotions and liberates you.
To focus on something that we do not like about ourselves is deeply human as if we were not good enough just the way we are. We miss out on precious life concentrating on something that needs to be fixed and changed before we can really live.
There are things that everybody knows are bad like alcohol, cigarettes, fattening food — the list is endless. But there are many other things that are regarded as good even though they are just a form of comfort. Things that you need to do, or things that you focus on, be it TV shows, frequent naps, meditation and yoga, or needing 20 supplements a day and only organic vegetables otherwise you freak out, or checking your mobile every two seconds to see if your partner has sent you a text. We are all more or less attached to something to soothe ourselves, and if not an addiction most people are at least a little obsessed about one thing or another. It can be your partner, your hobby, your children, your colleagues, the way you feed yourself, your clothes, your appearance, learning, cleaning, your dating app — just about anything. We are not that different from one another when we scratch beneath the surface; everybody is obsessed about something.
So, just RELAX, it is all going to be fine in the end. We are human. We are not supposed to be perfect.
The small things that we focus on are not addictions. To be addicted is a completely different story. When you are addicted, your life suffers because you need something outside of yourself, something that is slowly destroying you, and probably people around you as well. Maybe you are stuck and have not even acknowledged to yourself that you have a problem. Then its time for a serious detox, and you need outside help. First to accept you have a problem, then to acknowledge the truth. As in the AA, acknowledging that you are powerless in the face of alcohol. Or like with bulimia, that you are powerless in the face of food. Or like with anorexia, that you are powerless in the face of not wanting to feed your physical body. Or with sex addictions, that you are powerless in the face of sex. Or with workaholics, powerless in the face of having to perform, or as a shop addict powerless in the face of spending too much. Anything that is present in your head at all times is an addiction. Anyone who has been addicted, and recovered, has a lot of wisdom to bring to this world. In the powerlessness of an addiction, we are certainly less than we could be.
When we lose our power, we lose ourselves.
Let us regain our power by accepting our small perfect imperfections, and let us show the way for the people who need us to help them detox.
Let us all detox our bodies, our minds and our hearts.